Emo Mikey

Last night, I went out to dinner and drinks with my cousin Brent who is here in CR. He is here opening up a site for Amazon.com. He was in the newspaper here like a month ago and I showed all my coworkers. I am really proud of him; he is super successful but still really young and fun. Since he is from the older generation of cousins and from Texas, we actually don't know eachother all that well. We didn't grow up together like the cousins that are my age or from AZ. I was telling him that he has the family image of being "the funny one". And, my family aren't liars-I had a good time hanging out with him. He also brought me a big bag of goodies like Goldfish crackers and Doritos and Reeses- I am super excited! We went to dinner at this restaurant in the mountains of Heredia. It was comida tipica, but pretty good. I honestly was just excited to be able to speak in English and make movie quotes and have someone know what I was talking about! After dinner we had to push our taxi up a little hill, and I totally ate it and fell. Embarrassing! Apparently the wine at dinner affected me more than I thought =) We also went to a bar in central Heredia, and talked about a lot of different stuff. It was nice to have a meaningful conversation- when it comes down to it I just can't have those kinds of talks in Spanish- I am not that good yet.

He kept joking with me that I should "sell out" and go into business or something, so that way I can have money to help people the way I want. We actually talked a lot about my future, and it got me thinking. Most days, I am content to not know right now what I am going to do with my life. I have changed a lot from a year ago when I was applying to graduate schools and thought that I had it all figured out. When I came here I told myself that I was going to stay open to all different types of opportunities, and not be closed minded. Brent made a good point- I only know the things that I have encountered- but there are definitely a ton of things out there that I haven't even heard of that I could love to do, and would be really good at. About a month and a half ago I made a list of some of some possible life scenarios that I would like to be in-in like twenty years. Then, I made another list of what steps I need to be taking to make those scenarios possible. I don't know. I still don't have it all figured out, and I need to stop thinking that I do. Sometimes I think that I get so caught up in thinking that I know everything, I end up acting ignorant and ridiculous. Like with politics- I have been espousing my views on Barack Obama and singing his praises, but when it comes down to it, I really don't know that much about him. I am probably not making any sense. Just thinking out loud.

I am actually feeling pretty down today. I have been on the verge of tears all morning, and I am not exactly sure why. I kind of felt this way after Matt and Stephanie left from their visit down here, too. It's almost like I can ignore the things that I miss about home until I hang out with someone that reminds me. Now I just feel really homesick and alone. Then I feel worse, because I know that in the States I would have Caty or Britney or Erica to go to, and they would cheer me up, but here I don't have anyone like that. I am missing my girlfriends, and going out to eat with them, and just simple everyday stuff that we did.

I need to stop writing. I am turning into that EMO girl that writes about her feelings in her blog. Next thing you know I will be posting poems with really deep meanings and getting tattoos of broken hearts and crying roses =). Actually, getting this crap out has made me feel a little bit better (thank you Pennebaker). Don't worry, I am sure that EMO MIKEY won't be here that long, and PEPPY OPTIMISTIC MIKEY will be back for the next blog entry.